you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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