someone threw a dead crab at me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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