My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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