There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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