the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
