Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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