Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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