Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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