Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize