Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
