thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize