Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
