She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
