Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
