he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
