You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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