I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.