I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM