I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Remember the time you cried about coconuts