Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
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Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.