I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..