i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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