yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
