I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
