I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
