Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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