really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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