You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
