No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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