Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
