Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
