I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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