Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
