i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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