I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
