just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize