We're facebook friends in real life
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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