Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
