I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
