Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
