Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
