May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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