who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
