i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.