She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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