Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
