Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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