would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
