in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
