did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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