Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
