dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
