Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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