if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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