ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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