I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize