we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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