Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
