It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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