He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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